How does Naruto know that he's in love?
by Simple-Minded Idiot
Summary: ... And it doesn't at all help when the closest thing he has for a love consultant is a 900something demon. But since Naruto's never been in love before, how can he know that? [“It's called mating, dumbass, and you've found yourself a catch.”]


_It has been a while since I did anything and posted it. I do hope that this will be nice enough. _

* * *

It all started one fine morning. Of course it had to start somewhere because if it didn't start somewhere then how could it exist?

Well, it was during this one fine morning when Konoha's bubbly blond boy – because everyone knew that Ino was the bubbly blond _girl_ – began to notice that he was acting very strangely around one of his teammates. It suddenly dawned on him as he was walking towards Ichiraku for his breakfast ramen. Then again, many of the things that appeared in Naruto's head just popped out of nowhere.

Why was it that when he wasn't thinking or trying to think, thoughts immediately went to his head?

Haruno Sakura wasn't the teammate he was acting oddly around. Back in their genin days, he would've firmly implanted his mind that it was the pink-haired girl that he was acting odd around. Why shouldn't he act weirdly around her back then? She did occupy his thoughts most of the time. She still would've occupied his thoughts if he continued to have a crush on her.

He was also not talking about Sai. The little SOB insulted his own manliness! Naruto wouldn't give that prick the satisfaction of being the center of attention, somewhat, of the great Uzumaki Naruto!

It also wasn't Kakashi-sensei or Yamato-san. No, not them.

So, of course, that left only one person.

Naruto actually didn't know _why_ or _how_, but it was Sasuke-teme he was acting odd towards to. Maybe it had been because they weren't on the best of terms ever since Sasuke got dragged back to Konoha. They had their little buddy-buddy moments that were reminiscent of the good ol' genin days.

In what way was Naruto acting odd? Or how did he know that he was acting odd in the first place? Well...

**Smell? What wonderful smell? Whatever it was, it smelt better than ramen!**

Naruto began smelling this wonderful smell a few weeks ago. He automatically thought that it was food. The only person he knew could smell almost as good as the smell of ramen was Sakura and that new scent didn't come from her. It was fresh. It was good. It was freaking _better_ than ramen. Of course, when Naruto thought that, that meant a lot because, in his mind, _nothing_ could smell better than ramen.

Of course, if it smelt better than ramen, it must've meant that it was better than ramen. And he didn't know what food was better than ramen so he snooped around, trying to locate the source of the smell.

He didn't know why, but the whole time he was searching for the supposed _food_ that smelt better than ramen, Kyuubi was cackling like the demented fox that he really was. It was actually quite frightening. Naruto really would've been frightened if it wasn't for the fact that during times like these, his stomach overrode the control that his brain had over his body.

Soon enough, he found the owner of the scent. He was definitely surprised. Shocked beyond belief to be more exact.

"Sasuke-teme?" he asked.

The aforementioned _Sasuke-teme_ looked at him. Sasuke was carrying a few grocery bags.

"Hn. Dobe," he greeted.

Oh, now Naruto knew why Kyuubi was laughing. Or at least that was what he thought. The demon was laughing because it was such an irony that Sasuke was carrying the food with the great smell!

... Poor Naruto.

Kyuubi was thinking somewhere along the lines of _Stupid Naruto_.

**Tingly feelings belong in the stomach (hunger), not in the chest. So why does the chest tingle _now_?**

Naruto and Sasuke were sparring again. They needed to spar in order to become more powerful than they already were, but they needed to be strong for different reasons. Itachi was still running amok and Tsunade was still the Hokage.

Naruto believed that Sasuke would someday kill Itachi. Sasuke _knew_ that he would kill Itachi. It was destiny.

A handful of people believed that Naruto would become Hokage someday despite the fact that he was the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. There was a part of Sasuke that knew that his... friend of sorts – they weren't really what he'd call as _best friends_ right now – was going to be Hokage eventually.

Of course, their spars weren't like what the others' spars. No, not at all. Theirs had Rasengan and Chidori. It was as if they were in a real battle.

Honestly, the others were worried whenever they sparred. Kyuubi might take over Naruto. Sasuke's own amibtions might take over him. They were really relieved beyond belief whenever the two came back alive. Naruto would come bouncing down the streets as his cuts slowly healed and Sasuke would calmly walk behind his friend while dusting himself off, also secretly healing his own injuries as he did so.

So then! Right now, the two of them were sparring. And suddenly... they weren't sparring. They were now tumbling down a rather steep hill. They couldn't get their bearings. It had been a while since they started their spar for the day. They felt a bit dizzy now.

Sasuke had the misfortune to end up on the bottom once they came to a full stop. His breath was knocked out of his lungs. Naruto had grown... heavy. It was, after all, common knowledge that muscles were heavier than fats.

Naruto's breath was knocked out of his lungs, too, but for a different reason. Something was knocking on his chest, too. Like something was tickling his chest. He felt as if he had just run around the whole world without stopping. He felt tired, yet energized for some reason.

Teme was... admittedly, very pretty...

"... Dobe, you're heavy," Sasuke said, unknowingly ruining Naruto's little thought bubble.

**Too much thinking and reasoning without even knowing it.**

Naruto honestly didn't know what was happening to himself. It was just far too... odd and all. It was as if Sasuke was _everywhere_ now! Sasuke was here, Sasuke was there. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That was the word – the person, really – that was always on Naruto's mind nowadays. It was irritating, this state of unrest that he was in! Really irritating!

He couldn't concentrate on anything when Sasuke was there. At least that was the situation before. Now, he couldn't concentrate on anything when Sasuke was there _and_ wasn't there. If Sasuke was there, he'd feel all light and stuff. If Sasuke _wasn't_ there, he always thought about the fucking bastard. That was so weird and stupid. Which would mean a lot since he was practically the epitome of weird _and_ stupid. A lot of people would testify to that fact.

And because it was just _that_ odd, he decided to whine about it to Kyuubi. After all, for things like these, he couldn't bother Iruka-sensei or Tsunade-baba. It just didn't _feel_ right to talk to them about something like this. Besides, he'd be pretty much embarrassed saying that the bastard was in his mind twenty-four/seven.

"... You're not that much of an idiot, are you, gaki?" Kyuubi asked when Naruto told about his predicament to Kyuubi.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto exclaimed. "And here I was trying to be civil with you!"

Kyuubi guessed that Yondaime must be having the time of his life up there, watching the big bad foxie getting the IQ pounded out of it or him or her – it wasn't Kyuubi's problem that demons didn't have genders. Damn blond. Hell, damn all blonds! Kyuubi swore that once he got out of this blasted container, he would make sure that he wiped out every blond in existence.

"I just don't know why I'm always thinking about him and all," Naruto started to babble... _again_, much to Kyuubi's dismay, "and maybe that's supposed to be natural since we're rivals and all."

Kyuubi, by that time, was thinking somewhere along the lines of... _wasn't it a sin to be that idiotic_?

**And the demon in the stomach drops the bomb...**

It had been three days since Naruto asked for the great Kyuubi's help. Up until now, Naruto was _still_ asking for some help on the whole Sasuke matter. The idiot was still clueless. It was driving Kyuubi insane. Really, really insane. And that would be saying a lot since Kyuubi was already insane.

Finally, he had gotten tired to the point that he growled, "It's called mating, dumbass, and you've found yourself a catch."

He really didn't know the terms they used in human lingo, but that was to the best of his abilities in that language. Hopefully, the blond dolt would understand that.

**... And the container fails to understand**,

Kyuubi knew that it was too good to be true.

Naruto was an idiot when it came to love or whatever that _thing_ was supposed to be called.

But Kyuubi was not one to give up! Especially if his peace and quiet was at stake!

Naruto just wouldn't stop talking, much more so now... now that he knew that Kyuubi actually had a smidgen of an idea of what was happening to him.

**More talking with the stomach demon.**

"You're in love with him," Kyuubi said in the most solemn voice he could make. Which wasn't much since he still did sound like some sort of homicidal maniac.

"The hell?!" Naruto exclaimed. Then he blinked, and then he grinned. "Well, yeah, I do! I mean, even though he's a stuck-up bastard, he's still my friend! So maybe he doesn't see me as a friend, but I do!"

Kyuubi banged his head – yes, his _own_ head – on bars of his cage.

**Even more talking with the stomach demon.**

"You don't love him like a friend," Kyuubi said the very next day.

Naruto was silent. Kyuubi had a feeling that he had gotten his point across now.

Well, at least that was what he thought until Naruto answered, "Of course! I don't love him like a friend! I love him like a brother!"

Oh how Kyuubi wished that Naruto knew about the wonders of incest.

**Ramen love. Therefore Sasuke(peer) + (buying ramen)**_**subscript:12**_** ---> less than three  
**

Of course, Kyuubi should've known that Naruto's "Ramen is god" motto would solve everything. He really didn't need to try and explain that Naruto loved Sasuke. It was obvious that ramen would solve everything.

... Naruto was such a sucker.

Kyuubi actually pitied Uchiha. The boy didn't know what he was getting himself into.

Their little sparring session for the day, which Kyuubi also saw as a form of... bonding, of course, the two would never admit to _bonding_ session, had just ended. And Sasuke had offered to buy Naruto ramen. Ramen whom Naruto thought was a god, a blessing from the heavens.

It was in that moment that Sasuke said in all of the out-of-characterness he could muster, "Let's go eat, dobe. I don't know why, but I'm feeling generous today," that Naruto knew that he was helplessly and hopelessly in love with his rival.

It doesn't take a snap to make love surface. For Naruto, it takes a lot of bantering and, of course, ramen.

Kyuubi now understood why out of all of the people he could be put in, it was Naruto's body that he got. Yondaime sure knew his people.

"Sasuke, I love you!" Naruto exclaimed as soon as the ramen bowl was placed in front of him.

Sasuke was too hungry to care by that time.

Naruto would make the prick care soon enough. At least that was what Naruto hoped to do.

* * *

_Thank you to all who read through this or even skimmed through it. _

_Please do tell if you found a mistake, especially with the grammar and all. It would be much appreciated if you did so!_

_Why __**less than three** instead of the usual "heart" sign? Why not use real subscript? Because I can't. I would if I can, but I can't._


End file.
